How do I communicate with my "ex" when we can't stand each other?
When parents are divorcing it’s not uncommon for communication to become tense. The most common mistake I see people make is to use their children as “messengers” for topics such as child support, unpaid bills, school activities, and when and how pick-up and drop-off will be accomplished. We’ve all heard the phrase “Don’t shoot the messenger!” Think about this and imagine how your child feels.
If you and your spouse are not yet at the place where you can have a civil conversation, but must still communicate, try using e-mail. That provides you both with a communication tool that can be used at a safe distance without the tension of face-to-face or over the phone awkwardness. However, be nice in those e-mails and assume they could be the next court exhibit.
If e-mail is still too hot to handle, another option is software found at www.ourfamilywizard.com. This site allows parents to manage children’s issues, school activities, calendars, and expenses. The site offers a tour and a range of plans. If you’re at your wit’s end, this might be a tool that can help you.
